Sunday, November 8, 2009

Poundcake

This Saturday was my mom's annual birthday dinner party during which she bakes and serves her signature pound cake. My mother, being a retired architect, is big on ratios, and pound cake's 1:1:1:1 brings out the egalitarian in her. As per tradition, four families each bring one pound of sugar, butter, egg, or flour and my mother bakes while everyone stands around eating whatever dinner my dad has prepared.

While three of the families are preset, one is always a wild card. This year introduced Wendy, a new friend my mom made at her last miniature convention (that's a convention for collectible miniatures, not a miniature-sized convention) who brought her husband, 17-year-old daughter and 14-year-old son.

The cake wasn't in the oven before I felt the seventeen-year-old's stare. Although my sister was trying to make small talk with her, the young girl's eyes betrayed her intent to participate. She was a beautiful girl with long wavy hair, blue-green eyes, and a thin, loose dress that showed her body nicely. Although she was a visual treat, I avoided eye contact, and turned my attention toward the conversation about the prospect of UCLA beating USC this year based on transitive property (since UCLA beat UW and UW beat USC).

You see, I've been subjected to this misguided gaze before. Out of college I taught 11th and 12th grade English at a private school for two years, and there were always a couple girls in each class who would concentrate on me more than what I taught. The girls were only four or five years younger than me at the time, so my defense was simply never to make eye contact with the starers, especially the pretty ones. Thus, I kept my job.

While the cake was baking, my mother, the troublemaker that she is, called me over mid-conversation to talk to Wendy's daughter, Chloe. My mother thought this would be an excellent social pairing since I was an English major in college and Chloe needed help with her college application essay. Additionally, it turns out that Chloe's English teacher is the same one I had ten years ago, and had recently read one of my essays aloud to her class. I pocketed that nugget to enjoy at a later time and suggested he edit her essay like he did mine, then attempted my escape.

My mother grabbed onto my arm. She said that Wendy was willing to pay me to edit Chloe's essay, and reminded me that I could use the money. As one would expect from a smart girl practiced at being pretty, Chloe didn't say anything at this point. She just half-grinned and watched me squirm.

Then, the timer went off. My mom was gone, off to the oven, and Chloe and I were left alone. Luckily for me, my threshold for rudeness is exceedingly high, so I literally looked above Chloe's head as I turned toward the other room before making a lame excuse and returning to my cousin, who was telling the story of his recent engagement.

Once the pound cake was out and everyone was eating, Chloe's eyes finally returned to their rightful resting place and I relaxed. Little did I know, my mother had already promised Wendy that I would edit her daughter's essay.

Chloe just emailed it to me. It's called "Two or Three Things I Know About Myself." Time to forge one of those Delivery Status Notification Failure emails and have a disciplinary talk with my mom in the morning.

13 comments:

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

or, you could just wait until she's 18...

Gray said...

*laughs* Got to love when family decides to "help"....

Steve E. said...

Last time I had pound cake I felt cheated--it was only three-fourths
of a pound.

Last time a seventeen-year-old girl looked at me "like that" was
...wait until I get my glasses, I'll look it up --grin!

Rei said...

What an awkward situation! I have a lot of problems maintaining eye contact with people I don't really know, so I probably would have done the same thing you did. Hope it all works out and you don't have to deal with these awkward moments anymore. Also, thank you for commenting on my blog! ^^

otin said...

How many other VanHalen songs dealt with desert? lol! Ther was Ice Cream Man? Any more? haha!

Surge said...

hahahaha...
She's bad.

Gledwood said...

Poundcake? Never heard of it!

Daffy said...

They have nerve, they do...those young ones....but if you're they eyecandy she seems to think you are then I'd probably would've stared right along with her!

Midtown Girl said...

Love poundcake - especially strawberries & cream!

What an endearing story!

XOXO

Savvy Gal said...

LOL.... i adore pound cake with strawberries and whipcream. : )

Laszlo Brown said...

I see I should write about dessert more often... :) Unfortunately, don't experience as many interesting dessert stories as I do girl stories. Maybe next life.

Dutch donut girl said...

Hahaha, seventeen year old girls can be persistent. I just had that one highschool party encounter. For a moment he (fresh out of college) recoiled as though he had received a blow between the eyes. He disappears for the rest of the night. So yeah, teachers are off limits.

Mmmm, pound cake :)

Nishant said...
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